Test

Take this test.

Here's what I got (It is really eerie how accurate this is! For me, anyway)

the Perfectionist

you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE.

"I do everything the right way"


Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.


How to Get Along with Me

Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.

Acknowledge my achievements.

I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.

Tell me that you value my advice.

Be fair and considerate, as I am.

Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.

Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a One

being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal

working hard to make the world a better place

having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself

being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do

being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions

being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a One

being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met

feeling burdened by too much responsibility

thinking that what I do is never good enough

not being appreciated for what I do for people

being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am

obsessing about what I did or what I should do

being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

Ones as Children Often

criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others

refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect

focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers

are very responsible; may assume the role of parent

hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")

Ones as Parents

teach their children responsibility and strong moral values

are consistent and fair

discipline firmly

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

Blog conversion

I think we may have converted two people at work today. C'mon Libby and Ben--bring it!

Check this out

Check out my Johari window.

Grace...

...was the theme of 2005 and is apparently spilling over into 2006. All morning, God's grace kept popping into my head...grace is the key to everything--the key to healing relationship difficulties, the key to learning to love people the way God does, the key to accepting ourselves, the key to letting down our wall of self-protection (or "fence," if you will :)), etc. If we don't learn to stand on grace, we'll never be able to get past the bumps and have real intimacy with people. There's just too much sin in the way!

This morning as I was hashing and re-hashing an issue with God, I kept sensing that he was trying to redirect my attention off of the problem and onto him. Of course, being the stubborn and linear thinker, I kept thinking, "Um, s'cuse me God? I think you're trying to change the subject. I'm trying to tell you about this issue. I don't know how to fix it! Quit trying to dodge the subject!" But as I finally relented, agreeing to table the issue for the moment and focus on him--what kind of God he is, what he's like--, a crazy thing happened. The reality of Him started to grow, causing me to shut my mouth in awe--awe of his incredible love, his incredible patience with ME (Somehow, in the midst of everything, I had lost sight of my own sin and issues. Imagine that.), and the incredible pleasure he takes in loving me, even in all of my selfishness. I suddenly felt embarrassed by my quickness to point a finger at others' issues and amazingly humbled and thankful that I have such a God. Wow.

So anyway. That helped start the day with a real awareness of grace and one less chip on my shoulder. Embarrassed, but thankful. God's grace abounds.

Conflict

I remember in college, the professor of my speech class said “Conflict is neither good nor bad. It just is.” I think I laughed out loud—I thought, “What a DORK! Is he nuts? Of COURSE it’s bad!” That was before God took me through His “Being Real 101” course for which I did NOT get any college credit, but instead got some bruises that resulted in a LOT more freedom than I’d ever experienced in relationships. There has been more and more freedom over the years, but the bruises are still painful.

I was listening to this song today, and it seemed very apropos, so I thought I’d share:

Loving a Person (Sara Groves)

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing
It takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting
We need grace either way

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby
Only one makes you free

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

If we go looking for offense
We're going to find it
If we go looking for real love
We're going to find it

This picture, for example....

cleaning

I should be cleaning the house right now, but I'm stalling. Why is cleaning such a chore? Some people can apparently keep up with it throughout the week so they don't have to do a marathon overhaul the night before they're going to have company. I wish I could be that woman, but I don't think I'll ever be. God help us when/if we ever have children.

I'm also obsessed with changing my profile picture. I put together a couple memory book pages for a friend's birthday this weekend, and in the process of scanning a bunch of college pictures, I started thinking "Ooh, I could put that one on my profile.....or that one...hmm..."

Sensitivity quiz: on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not at all and 10 being extremely), how sensitive are you? (To clarify: by "sensitive," I mean sensitive about yourself, not toward other people. I've found that some people can be calloused toward others but still have their own feelings hurt easily--I'd call that inconsiderate, but probably still sensitive.)

Human for Sale

I'm worth $1,732,046.

Click here to find out how much you're worth.

(okay, here's the entire original photo. Me and my baby brother, with my baby sister in the background)

South side!

coffee

I must be desperate today. I'm drinking Maxwell House.

Dena Dena bo-bena, ocarina ballerina...

My friend Dena finally got a blog. We don't keep in touch as much as we used to, but I still feel like she's a kindred spirit. These Alanis lyrics remind me of our friendship:

you and i we're like four year olds

we want to know why and how come about everything

we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak out minds

and never talk small and be intuitive

and question mightily

and find god

my tortured beacon we need to find like-minded companions

(Alanis Morissette, "Joining You")

thoughts from work

Deep thoughts today…at home church last night, we had a discussion (in our “bumper sticker theology” series) about anger, which carried over to the lunch table conversation at work today. Then, this afternoon I had a very strange interaction with management that left me thinking…thinking about how we humans react when we feel threatened, hurt, or afraid. It can come out in many ways—anger, defensiveness, manipulation and control of others, etc.

During the afternoon conversation, when I felt I was being lectured and talked down to, I started feeling defensive, embarrassed, and guilty all at the same time. While I think the person who was doing the lecturing was really just feeling threatened herself, I started to feel threatened as well. Is it human nature to want to control someone else to make yourself feel more secure? Are the people who seem the nastiest and meanest on the outside really just hurt and afraid on the inside?

Wunderkind

I heard this song during the credits of the new Narnia movie and loved it. A friend was nice enough to burn it for me and I’m listening to it today and reflecting on the lyrics. I know the song is about the Narnia story, but I think some of C.S. Lewis’s spiritual allegory from the book can be seen in the song, too. What a beautiful picture of our journey with Christ—I just wanted to share:

Wunderkind
Written by Alanis Morissette, Harry Gregson-Williams

Oh perilous place
Walk backwards toward you
Blink disbelieving eyes chilled to the bone
Most visibly brave
No apprehended bloom
First to take this foot to virgin snow

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh
I live the envelope pushed far enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne
destined to serve
destined to roam

Oh ominous place
Spellbound and un-childproofed
My least favorite chill to bear alone

compatriots in place
they’d cringe if I told you
our best back pocket secret: our bond full blown

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh
I am a pioneer naïve enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne
destined to seek
destined to know

most beautiful place
Reborn and blown off roof
My view: about face weather, great will be done

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh
I am a groundbreaker naïve enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh
I am a joan of arc and smart enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne
destined to reign, destined to roam
destined to reign….destined to roam…

the end is in sight (?)

Is that a light at the end of the tunnel, or just another TWE?