As I was leaving work today, I encountered one of my pet peeves: an officer standing at the corner, looking at the cars. Why did this annoy me? Because his neon green vest and daily existence at this corner indicated a specific purpose--directing traffic. But he was not directing anything. He was watching.
I pulled up to the corner and looked at him, waiting for some...oh, I don't know...direction? Nothing. I eventually took matters into my own hands and pulled out when there was a break in traffic. After turning, I re-evaluated the situation and laughed to myself. Why did that annoy me? Because I am a direction-seeker. Some people resent being told what to do. I love it. It gives me a sense of structure, a sense of security. A sense of knowing-the-right-thing-to-do, so that when I do it, I don't have any doubts about whether or not I've done the right thing. This morning, I said something like this to my friend Heather. Something like, "I need structure. I need to know what's going on, what to do." Know what she said to me? "Yeah, but you're a legalist." She was smiling. Reluctantly, I had to smile too. Just another reminder of my silly tendency and my need to lighten up.
Structure is good. In general, it helps plans go more smoothly. Children need structure to feel safe. But I am not a child anymore. Real life is messy, and answers are often less than clear-cut. There is no rule book. Some call the Bible a rule book, I call it a principle book. Following God is more like following a person than following a printout from mapquest.
Dangit. I love mapquest.
Another short quote from Derek Webb. Song's called "New Law." Tone is tongue-in-cheek.
"Don't teach me about politics and government, just tell me who to vote for
Don't teach me about truth and beauty, just label my music
Don't teach me how to live like a free man, just give me a new law
I don't want to know if the answers aren't easy
So just bring it down from the mountain to me
I want a new law..."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
yes, i too want direction. how many questions should i ask? how much should i push? how deep can i go with questions? when shoudl i just lay off and have simple fun? Erin, your heart is to help people and to love people. even if it isn't 100% perfect execution, the love you will shower them with will far outweigh everything. yes, some people will not be favorable, but the others will embrace with open arms.
Yeah, I guess I wasn't really thinking of my dealings with others as much as I was thinking about my dealings with myself--wanting a rule to follow, rather than just responding to the Spirit. The former is what's "easier," but ironically, leads to slavery. Funny.
Post a Comment