Erin

Today has been pretty quiet. I've been feeling pretty functional lately, but I just got caught up on reading everyone's blogs, and now I'm feeling contemplative. I'm still waiting for a phone call (seems like I'm always waiting these days). I'm kind of tired of waiting. And while I'm really dreading the conversation that will need to happen after that phone call comes, I am (for the moment) done obsessing over what I will say.

I was just thinking about how I used to be a grammar nazi. A crazy, anal grammar nerd. Words were an integral part of me--they were what I did and what I loved. It's sad (and a bit scary) to notice that slipping away. Shannon correcting my grammar. Not that I mind being corrected, but it is eye-opening to realize that something that used to come naturally to me, used to be instinctual, now takes effort. That really bothers me.

I have never been a big fan of change. Especially being in this in-between place. But I have a good feeling about this potential new chapter. Especially the possibility of reclaiming my title of psycho grammar girl. Blowing the dust off of my Chicago Manual of Style and uncapping my red pen. I want typos to tremble in fear when they see me coming. I want to see terror in the eyes of misplaced modifiers. I want disagreeing subjects and verbs to stop dead in their tracks, knowing they've been caught and that there's nowhere to run.

But I have some studying to do first. And there's still that phone call.