Feelings

Am I emotional? Not sure. For the longest time, I would have said "no," but I'm starting to wonder. I've always felt that my emotional reactions to crises are sometimes disconnected and distant. "Cool-headed" and "logical," even. Really, though? Maybe "numb" is a better word for it.

I read this in Running With Scissors, a memoir I recently finished. I almost cried, it sounded so familiar (see, I am emotional!):

"My face became like the heating coil on the stove, and I trembled
with hatred. And then just as suddenly, I felt absolutely nothing. It was
like a door quickly opened, showing me what horrible feelings I had inside,
and then slammed shut again so I wouldn't have to actually face them. In
many ways I felt I was living the life of a doctor in the ER. I was
learning to block out all emotions in order to deal with the situation.
Whether that situation involved a mother who was constantly having
nervous breakdowns or the death of the family cat by laundry hamper."

I don't mean to overdramatize, but this gave me some insight into how I sometimes feel (or don't feel, whatever the case may be). Eye-opening.