Annoyed

I've been annoyed all day. I got some frustrating news this morning at work, and I'm trying not to have a horrible attitude about it, but I'm having a hard time with that.

The ironic thing is that, this morning as I was driving to work, I was rocking out to a new (well, new-to-me) Sara Groves song....a song about being thankful when your expectations aren't met and God has something in mind that's different from what you had in mind. I was totally digging the sentiment...at least, for a few hours, until my own expectations were smashed a little bit.

It's crazy how, when you don't have something, you can be content not having it. Even sometimes when you see other people getting it, you can manage to be content without it. But then when you do get it yourself, and you get used to having it, it's hard then to have it taken away. You start to feel entitled. Having it taken from you, you start to resent the people who get to keep theirs. You start making mental lists of all the reasons you deserve it.

In my case, the "it" is a cubicle all to myself (which is silly in the grand scheme of things, but hey. I didn't say it was logical for me to be super annoyed, it's just how I'm feeling), but I guess the contentment vs. entitlement thing can often be true of many other things we all want--romantic relationships, a certain standard of living, certain comforts, etc.

It's making me realize how demanding I can be, and how ungrateful I am for the things I have. Recently (for the past month or so), I've actually been thinking a lot about how much I enjoy my job and how lucky I am to have it so good. So it's really kind of funny that, the moment something doesn't go my way, I throw a little temper tantrum. Oh Lord, help me to grow up and be more thankful and less demanding.