I feel like Milton from Office Space.
I understand his attachment to his Swingline stapler. The other one, of course, was always binding up.
My life has become Office Space, and the things I'm willing to fight for feel as petty as a favorite stapler. Or "the good white-out." Or the freedom "to play my radio at a reasonable volume."
Why? Who knows. Anyone who has ever worked in an office can relate, I'm sure. I think it's because office life is so monotonous, and you spend so much of your time there, that the small things become the important things. Whether or not you get to keep your pencil drawer. Whether you get one shelf or two. Whether you get to sit by the window. Whether you get to sit by your friend or by the guy who noisily clips his nails. And, of course, whether you get your own desk or whether you have to share.
I feel so petty. I got upset today. Another friend told me that she was allowing herself today to be mad, and that tomorrow she would go about the business of getting over it and having a good attitude. Me too. Tomorrow. Today, I'm pissed. But I had my day, I cried in the boss's office, and now it's time to get over it and move on. Focus on the things that are good (and there really are so many things).
For the heck of it, I thought I'd post the lyrics to that Sara Groves song. I need to keep it on repeat until I get some perspective about the situation (the reference to Job makes me realize how ridiculous my "problems" are, relatively).
What I thought I Wanted
Tuxedo in the closet, gold band in a box
Two days from the altar she went and called the whole thing off
What he thought he wanted, what he got instead
Leaves him broken yet grateful
I passed understanding a long, long time ago
And the simple home of systems and answers we all know
What I thought I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful
I keep wanting you to be fair
But that’s not what you said
I want certain answers to these prayers
But that’s not what you said
When I get to heaven I’m gonna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions, I want to know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
And how to be broken yet faithful
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
Staring in the water like Aesop's foolish dog
I can’t help but reflect on what it was I almost lost
What I thought I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and grateful
I’m broken and grateful
I want to be broken and grateful
I want to be grateful, peaceful, thankful, faithful, grateful
I want to be grateful, peaceful, faithful
I want to be grateful, peaceful, thankful, faithful, grateful
I want to be grateful, peaceful, faithful, grateful
5 comments:
cool song..how true. What we think we want often turns out to be so far from what's best for us. Being broken and learning to be faithful is hard, but it's has much more value in the long run than the things that I think I want. Thanks for sharing the lyrics!
oops...that was from me! I'm just a technology idiot. :)
I want you to know - you're not alone in this. Here's my story (of course, after hearing it you may proclaim me certifiably crazy). I was ok sharing a cubicle when I went part-time. I knew it wasn't right to have a desk all to myself when I wasn't there 40% of the time. However, it was still "my" desk. I picked all the stuff I wanted for my portion and left the leftovers for my new cube-mate. I was sad to clean out my desk when I moved. I had been in Japan a few weeks when a picture arrived in my inbox of how the cubicle looked after my departure. I was so pissed! "How dare she send this picture?! Did she think that would make me feel good? THAT'S MY DESK!!" Yup, half-way around the whole and that's still my cube. :P
*another hug for this situation*
And Amanda, it's still your cube to me, too, even though there are math people in it now. :)
WHAT!! MATH, PEOPLE IN MY CUBE!!! What is this world coming to!? AURGH!!!
;P
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