(You know a melancholy personality when you see a subject line like that!)
So I've been thinking about suffering lately.
Maybe having my favorite team lose the National Championship (after the most butt-kicking, flawless, beautiful football season ever) sparked it. That was painful.
But even more than that, the subject has come up a lot lately. Maybe not that word necessarily, but the idea. 2005 was a year I experienced some (non-Buckeye-related) suffering, and 2006 was fairly mild by comparison. That's good, right? Yet, somehow, and the end of 06, the reflecting/looking-back stuff felt a little more shallow than it did last year. There was a depth and a richness to what God taught me through the crap in '05 that I missed at the end of '06. Funny how that works.
A good friend is going through some hard, hard stuff right now. She's not enjoying it. And yet, as I watch her and try to encourage her and be there for her, I can see the budding answers to some prayers I've been praying for her for years...some good, good things that God is doing and will continue to do in her life, and he's using this hard, hard stuff to do it. (Please don't kill me--I promise I didn't pray for you to suffer!!)
And last night, the subject came up with a group of friends as we were sitting around talking about the Bible...talking about God and some of the benefits (yes, benefits) we get to enjoy in our lives, some of which only come through suffering (not that suffering is the benefit--I'm a melancholy, but not a masochist--but it's an avenue to some benefits). Benefits like humility, peace, character--you know those people who have that quality that just makes you want to be around them? That just by being around them, you feel good about yourself? They don't make everything about them, because they're genuinely interested in you, and there's this presence about them that's just attractive and draws you in? Those people are usually people who have suffered a lot, and instead of choosing bitterness, they chose something else, and over time it has profoundly changed them. I want to be like that.
So I guess I've been thinking about suffering and about how thankful I am for the bits of it I have experienced so far. And more than the suffering itself, I'm thankful for a God who uses it to bring about good in my life. Real good. Lasting good. Deep good. It's totally crazy and counterintuitive, but that seems to be how he works. And today, it makes me happy. (Probably because the suffering I've been reflecting on is either in the past or happening to someone else--ha!)
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2 comments:
Erin, your desire to become more refined by God through love and suffering is indeed the prayer of a Godly woman. wow!
God promises never to give us more than we can bear, and that He wants us to depend upon him and give him our yoke/burdens, but sometimes that is very difficult. pride gets in the way b/c we think we can do-it/fix-it ourselves. It takes a true friend to share that and to also offer such hope as: "He's plowing the earth of your heart and making it fertile for growth"
Erin, it may seem as though 2006 was an easier year, but it is evident that God is working in your life as much if not more than in 2005. it could very well be that b/c you are desiring to hear his promptings and following the zephyrs that he is sending your way that you do not notice all the changes. but your friends who love you, we know you are changing so much, looking at the broader scope, being willing to share your testimony with others, forbearing with people who are difficult, desiring to have a closer relationship with family, being willing to share and teach your contemporaries, and so much more.
thank you my friend, thank you for your love, your prayer, your laughter, your thoughtfulness, and your love of coffee. = )
Goes back to that Little Miss Sunshine quote doesn't it?
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